Seeking the Face of God

Am I seeking God for His pleasure, His presence, His glory in my life? Or, am I seeking God for His hand in my situation? These are the questions that popped up in my mind as I delved into yet another personal Bible study series this morning. I realized that many of my personal Bible study plans I choose are because I’m trying to find answers to life’s questions. Why is my child still struggling so much? How can I help? Why haven’t you given me the right script, Lord? Because, obviously the script I’ve been using these past 4 years isn’t the right one! It’s not working! So, I read more information and seek more help. But, I see no lasting results from any of it. So, I begin yet another study that someone else wrote…seeking answers.

I know there’s nothing wrong with seeking God for those answers; but I know I must also seek Him just because He is. My husband’s words always come back to me in moments of reflection like this. One of our family “mottos” that my husband continuously stressed was, “God first. God only.” And, another one was, “Presence (God’s) is everything!” Because these words are true, and not just words spoken by my husband, I continue to stress them in our family now-beginning with me! 

O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water. ² So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory.

³ Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips shall praise You. ⁴ Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. ⁵ My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

⁶ When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. ⁷ Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. ⁸ My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63: 1-8 (NKJV)

"Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together." Psalm 34:3 (NKJV)

 

Blessings!

Tiffany 

What is Your Storage Capacity?

25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26 NKJV

This is a short excerpt taken from a much longer spontaneously written piece that I wrote several days ago while thinking about my current season in life …

When two of the most important electronic items that I depend daily on started having battery capacity/storage issues, I began to ask myself what I would do if these items suddenly stopped working and I was no longer able to use them or the information stored on them. This prompted me to make sure that I have everything "important" backed up on hard drives or cloud drives so I don't lose anything. Then, I asked myself, how would it affect my ability to work from home if my laptop suddenly died? How would I effectively communicate with my children, family, and anyone else, if my phone suddenly stopped? I began to make "backup" plans…

A long time ago, I learned to take notice and pay attention to “normal everyday” situations and challenges because, many times, God is pointing things out to me that I can learn from. We are currently nearing the 4^th anniversary of my husband’s untimely entrance to heaven, and it has been a very difficult and challenging season for me. I’ve had to constantly, mentally and forcefully, make the decision not to go back to that place of dark despair and utter loneliness in my heart and mind that I experienced, especially in the first two years, after my husband died. But, as I began reflecting on the challenges of lost battery capacity in two of the very important electronic devices that I use daily; I was brought to some questions that I have asked myself:  Have I prepared myself to handle this season in my life? Do I have a backup plan when my personal “battery” seems to be dying on me? Did I make sure to store everything that is “important” if my “battery” fails on me? What is my current “storage capacity”, anyway? 

As I pondered those questions, I realized that I do have a plan in place! And I have made sure to store everything that is important if my “battery” fails on me! I don’t quite know exactly what my current storage capacity is, but I have one answer to all of these questions: Jesus, my Lord and Savior!! When all else in life fails, JESUS NEVER FAILS! He is my plan A and He is also my backup plan! He is my everyday plan! My walk and relationship with the Lord is where I’ve stored everything “important” in my life! I plan to continue to be filled with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to lead me and guide me, even as my own personal “battery” storage capacity seems to be shrinking.  I plan to solely and wholeheartedly depend on my Heavenly Father whose grace is sufficient for me and who daily supplies all of my needs (emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually), according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus! (2 Corinthians 12:9; Philippians 4:19) 

I believe there are many of us who, at times, begin to lose our capacity to hold or carry the things that we walk in daily. Our battery begins to drain and we may feel the need to just “stop working”. It’s during those times that we need to rely on what we’ve already stored up inside of us before our personal battery capacity began to fail. That’s when our faith kicks in and we allow ourselves to depend on God’s grace and His strength to restore us and recharge us. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, it says,

 ⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” For those of us who are feeling drained, overwhelmed, exhausted, etc., during this time when we are looking forward to celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the great love He has brought to us, be encouraged! And continue to put your hope and trust in Him, knowing  “…that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6 NKJV

Have a Merry and Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

This Is My Story...

...A Year in the Life

 

We experienced a lot of firsts this year-all without husband or father in our lives. Amerel volunteered at several horse farms and also a therapeutic (horse) riding center. She also took horse back riding lessons. She joined the adult Christmas choir which has been a longtime dream of hers. Isaiah played on the worship team at our church...a dream he's had since he was a toddler. He's also been teaching himself how to play electric and acoustic drums which is a more recent dream of his. My two little ones both had solo parts in the children's Christmas choir. All of the kids began trying to learn how to swim over the summer break from school. Daddy would have been proud of his children this year!

I've also had some firsts...I began driving regularly on the local highways-something I would never have done if it wasn't absolutely necessary! I have learned to pump my own gas. (In the state I'm originally from it's illegal to pump your own gas, and Tyren always filled our gas tank ever since we've been married.) I had my first surgery (for hernia repair) and am gracefully recovering. Bought my first vehicle by myself. Rented our first house. Even got my first regular stay at home job! Praise God! My husband would have been proud of me, too. But he wasn't here to walk through any of it with us. Sometimes, I honestly don't know how I made it through this year-BUT GOD!

God has faithfully brought us through this year! When I prayed for a reliable vehicle big enough for our family that would last us years-God came through. I prayed for a home with enough room to homeschool our four children comfortably and a nice sized backyard for the kids to play in. God opened up the windows of heaven and poured it out upon us. I prayed that by January 1st I would have a part time job that allowed me to stay at home and support my kids' homeschooling. Again, God miraculously came through and I was hired earlier this month for an online chat support position at a Christian school! Has God been faithful to us?! Amazingly so! And there are so many other ways He's been faithful to us that many of you have had a huge part in.

So, as hard as it is to believe and to fathom, life still goes on here in this place I've decided to call Narnia (see my blog from March of this year). Because, for me, life in that other world where my husband still walked beside me can not co-exist with this new life I have to walk in. It is another reality that no longer exists in this new world we are destined to live in now. But I now know something that I didn't know, or believe, a year ago when my beloved husband graduated to his eternal heavenly home-God still has a perfect plan for my life here in this place...and I am choosing to walk in it. God is faithful.

So, for as long as God has given me to live here in this place...

This is my story,

This is my song...

Praising my Savior

All the day long!

Thank you to all of you who have stood by us in love, prayer, and support in this most difficult year of our lives.

Happy New Year!

Tiffany